Episode 8 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Self Confidence Struggles

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Hey y'all heyall we're back and today we are talking about self sabotage. We're talking about the self-confidence that we um feel like we don't have right? A lot of people will call it the um imposter syndrome and really. Just doubting yourself feeling like you. Um, you know you aren't capable of what was capable in the past and all of the things where we're just doubting our abilities. Okay, so self doubt is really something that is about our confidence right. We're not able to build up ourselves anymore. We're going through like an anxiety or a depression and let's be honest, who isn't or hasn't been through that right now like in this stage of life. So that's what we're talking about today like do you. Feel overwhelmed with the depression and anxiety. Um the changes in our careers in our family and really just feel like the um self-doubt the imposter syndrome that everything where redoubing our confidence is coming in here. So let's just start with I really think that this is. Part of our heart and our minds. Okay, so our heart is really what? um like tugs on us sometimes right like we feel and those struggles and we feel all the emotions. But then our mind is really what stops and listens to those fears in those doubts that we really should. And be letting our mind take over right? So it says online over are looking at it about 70% of people experiencing some imposter syndrome in their life. So this is not just women. This is men and women and it is really something that takes hold of our mindset. And it ends up being a really bad habit that we can carry through our life. So some people will just have this like as a self um doubt situation like here and there when um maybe struggles are happening or big changes are happening something like that. But then a lot of people will say that they like. Literally deal with self-sabotage and imposter syndrome a lot during their life when they see successes. They see this coming up now I would say that a lot of this is going to be a habit that is past. Down in your life like you you had something happen where you were struggling and you stopped to actually listen to that lie that twisted truths that we talked about before and um in the beginning of the episodes I'm not sure where it is but y' can go back and listen to him but it was really something that.

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Change you in that habit continue to happen. So if something good happened you were just saying oh well, you know it was luck or whatever instead of really taking in your abilities and the facts about the things that you're able to accomplish. Okay, so let's go back to our faith for a minute and really. Talk about that eve story that we were talking about where um eve is listening to the twisted lie right? So what options did she actually have was she she had the option that she took which is listening to the lie. Okay, taking it in. Actually processing it in her thoughts right? not just passing it on like oh whatever like and having the faith that she needed to believe um, right of the things that she was supposed to do right that she wasn't supposed to eat that fruit. So. Here she took the thought she thought about it. She loud it in her process her thought process in her mindset and she let that doubt sink in right? She let that faith that she had before completely disappear and she took action on. That twisted truth right? She took action because she stopped and listened she let that fear sink in and consume her heart in her mind in her thought process and it blocked her spirit there right? It blocked what was actually going on and we see this. Happen in our life. All of the time we see it in comparison. We see it um in our self-doubt we see it in our anxieties in our worries all of the time. So my first challenge here is really to stop letting in the things that you don't believe. Okay, so a lot of the times this is hard because a lot of but we really actually believe our self sabotages our um imposter syndrome thoughts our anxieties and worries we will believe that to our core because it is a habit we have carried. Most of our life that we are in fear of something we're in fear of losing something like it's our money if we were struggling with money as a child then there will be a fear of not being able to have money so when you have money you will spend money and then you will lose money. You have a fear that makes you take action and it is a different thought process when you start to save money and invest money and take care of your money and and actually make money without losing money so that is just 1 tiny example, but it's also the same way.

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With our confidence. Okay, so if we believe that we don't have confidence that we aren't pretty that we don't look good. Um that we need to lose weight. Whatever the situation is we have that self doubt that we are not enough there right and that leads us. Back to some of the habits that led us there in the first place like we believe we're not ah we don't look the way that we want to we believe we don't um, fit in a certain style. Whatever it is and we look in the mirror and we tell ourself that because we listen to it. We listen to it over and over. We let it in our thought process. And then we say it like we are letting that continue to be a habit we know that we need to lose weight. We know that we need to take better care of our body. But instead we say things like um, you know well I I deserve to have this food that I don't. Want or I can't handle I deserve to have this and because those are our selfish desires right? The things that we don't want to. Negatively affect our self-confidence or our weight or our um feelings and then we let that continue to go because we have a habit of letting these thoughts continue to go in our head and in our processes and our mind in our brain. And there we go like it's already in our heart and then we start but to believe that right? How can you not believe something when you're continually told it your whole life are you continually in that process your whole life. Okay, so the first challenge of stopping some of these things is really to actually start listening. To what you're allowing in your brain because if you know and anything about psychology faith actually changes your brain and it changes the um, physical physiological um, whole. Aspect of what is going on so you can ah you can always look this up. You can always read it but this is the same kind of situation. Okay, so you are stopping something from coming in your brain because you think a certain way. Okay, your faith. Has values. You have something that you strongly believe in and you don't allow certain things in your thought process. Okay, you don't believe um, certain things in your head and you know that when that comes up that that's something that you walk away from and that you don't come back.

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Right? You don't let it in your brain. You don't continue to go into that conversation. We'll use an example of um, like a group of people gossiping. Okay, and maybe they're gossiping about your best friend or you know someone you have ah a great relationship with are you going to. Stand there if you if that's your wife if that's your husband if that's your best friend are you going to stand there and be a part of that conversation. Are you going to stand up and say something are you going to walk away. You may say something and walk away right? not be a part of it. But the point is that you're probably. Not going to take part in that activity and this is what we're doing with our brain. We're stopping that thought process of whatever it is and 1 of the best ways to do it is to actually take that lie and find the fact. Find the truth there. So if we um, you know, let's say it's about um, our business. Okay and we will use a lot of examples today but we'll say that our business. Um it was a fluke. Okay, like we we didn't do so we did some great things. Like whatever and then um, like dips in the numbers. All of the normal things that happen in business right? And if we have an imposter posture syndrome if we have those fears and doubts and worries of money being gone and all of those fears that lead to the depression. The anxiety, the imposter syndrome. Then we are actually accepting those sides and then continuing to believe that in every situation. Okay, so let's go back to the situation. So when business was great. We did something about it right. We took action. We had a list of plans and things that we needed to do for our business we when we're dating our spouse right? Like how did you start dating your spouse. How did you end up married um, did you just like. Call that person like once every like year and then you you guys just got married. No. You talked all the time you dated you got to know each other you asked questions you did activities together. You bought each other things you thought about each other you learned things. Okay, this is an example of. What you're doing in your head you are bringing in the new things and you're actually accepting or denying what the statement is and if you're gonna light it in your thought process. Okay, so we'll start.

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With um, let's just start with knowing the facts and the truth. Okay so twisting those lies and turning them into a truth is what a lot of times we'll do with our faith and it's something that. You need to do with your imposter syndrome your anxieties your worries as well. Even um I mean I normally would turn it into a faith situation right? So just not worrying about It is very very hard but knowing that a lot of those things that we worry about are not something we can physically control. Normally right, there's something that we um, just worry about and it's not something we can change. So if we can't change it then we just need to admit that we cannot change that. Okay, we can't change that but we can have faith that um. Like god is going to protect our children when they're away from us right? Um, we can have prayer and faith in this situation in the same way we can know that if we say. We hate our weight and we don't love what we're doing and what we're eating and that we're not exercising that we're not taking care of our body. We are able to make a choice to change that but it's a habit. Our thought process is a habit just like all of the other things we do. Are habits. Okay, so that's the first thing is really taking that negative thing that comes to your brain in deciding. Are we going to listen to it or just let it on pass right? Are we going to listen to it or not if you are going to listen to it then you're going to have to flip it if it's not if it's a negative right? So if you know. That um, you can flip it That's the first thing is changing them to positive um actions positive activities. Whatever you can do to change it from a negative. Okay, the next thing. We've already talked about in the other episode which was um I think like episode 2 or 3 but this was about comparison and really stopping that comparison when it comes because a lot of our imposter syndrome will be based on someone else's success based on someone else's relationship based on. Someone else and that's not you right? You have your own gifts your own talent your own purpose in life and that path is not yours so we need to be flipping that situation where we're not comparing ourselves to another person.

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But to ourselves is the best comparison if you're going to be stuck in that comparison. It would be better to be stuck in your own comparison right? like okay last year I wasn't able to take action and get outside and work out and do the things I wanted to do but this year I'm going to make it a difference I'm going to compare myself to last year and I'm going to make a change you can compare yourself in different situations to bring that but not to and. Another person right? Not to ah the instagramers and the other people that are in your business or the other are moms that are in the group right? It's not the same so stop the comparison and this also will lead to. A lot less anxiety and not as much imposture syndrome because you're comparing yourself to yourself not to other people. Okay, all right of course um, taking the new mindset is really the whole point of all of this right taking in. Um, the information and having that. And growth mindset versus the fixed mindset. You don't want to be stuck there in that worry and stresss and imposter

syndrome that you can't do something. That's not true. You need to take responsibility of it right? which is another one but um, the new mindset. You have to take responsibility of your mindset. First you have to know that your mindset is yours you get to decide what goes in and what you're bringing out so really to grow. We have to. Actually.

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To actually grow. We need growth right? We have to have growth. We have to have moving forward actions so that we can actually make a difference that we can actually change something that's going on right? it's. A must grow situation. It's not a um, optional thing. It's a requirement I mean a lot of people will say to just turn it into a learning experience and learn from everything that other people doing learn from what you're doing but really. Focus on yourself if you are having the imposter syndrome. Um and not just the worries and depression anxieties focus on what you can do better to um, you know, really grow and have your potential maximized. Okay, so obviously. Having the mindset is one and taking responsibility of not only your thoughts but also your actions or the other thing that are really going to bring you and closer to everything that you want accepting the responsibilities um and being ah. To measure what is actually happening and what you are doing so really, this looks like stopping the excuses in our minds when they start to come so um, I don't have enough money to grow a business. Okay. Some businesses you might not need a lot of money at all right? You can sell a couple things you can, um, you can have a big sale like there's so many things that you could do to actually start a business. You could save. You could have a business plan of three years ahead of time so that you go in without any debt right. There are plenty of things that you can do when you're not making excuses when you accept the responsibility of your mindset and where your mindset is allowed to go and this is really how you overcome some of those anxieties and worries because you accept that you are not going to worry about. Things that are out of your control. You're gonna have faith where you need to stand strong you're going to have confidence in yourself in your physical actions that you are going to take and whatever the goal is and whatever the purpose is okay and this is how you stop the. Stress and the overwhelm because you accept that it is your responsibility to keep your mind strong and this a lot of the times cannot be done alone. People will do this in their faith.

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Um, one of my next ones is to make sure that if you need help if you can't do this by yourself which most people cannot then talk to a spouse talk to a therapist. Yeah I said it again in another episode talk to a therapist right? Um, you need to be accepting the responsibility. If you need help that you need it that you can't do it on your own and if you don't have the support system that you need to take that responsibility. You need to reach out to a professional where you are able to overcome some of these struggles because these are basic. Situations and activities that you can work through with a therapist that are way beyond what you're going to get on a podcast anyways, right? Okay, all right? and then the next one is really to stop procrastinating on this horrible habit. Okay, stop procrastinating on it except now that you. Need to decide which thoughts you're gonna listen to and which thoughts you're gonna kick in the face. Okay I said it kick them in the face so decide which ones are coming in and where they're gonna go are they going in the trash or are they gonna continue to repeat are we going to flip them and make them positive. Are we going to take them. And talk to someone else about them. Okay, and then I'll really leave the last one this one's kind of short today. But this is our um self-awareness like a podcast episode. So the obvious one is to really define yourself because if you were. Dealing with just um, like the anxieties and stuff. It may not be that you need to define yourself. But maybe you've lost yourself somewhere along the way and for me that was true and still in a work and progress. Let's just be honest, but this is part of it. So being able to really define yourself and know what you need to be doing what your talents are where you're going who you're going there with right? All of the things that define you are going to help you get out of that imposter posture. Syndrome. And be able to better. Believe your own abilities. Okay, all right guys so that is my tipbit for today and I will chat with you guys next week